lately...

i've found as of lately, the more i write - the more i seem to get a peice of myself back. i wake up, i feel the need to write...something, anything. before i close my eyes at night, i have to clear my clouded mind. i stay hidden away in my room most of the time. i never know what i'll find. i want more than anything to be myself - the girl i was 5 months ago. it's hard to deal with the feelings that i hide inside myself. i want to run away. i can't always do that, it won't make things any easier. i feel as if i'm always complaining, and writing these sad soliloquys doesn't make me look any better. This song hits home....hard.

You know it tears me up inside
to see the feelings that you hide
Hide inside that empty bottle
I wish you saw how great you were
I wish you saw what life was worth
You wouldn't have to hide your problems
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way

Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make tomorrow harder to live than today

There's so much out there you could miss
there's so much life out there to live
If you would just believe in yourself
You know you're better than all of this
you know you've got so much to give
But you're so afraid to give of yourself

There's a bright light shining inside you
it shines out through your eyes
Don't drown it away, don't be afraid, don't hide
Let it shine

You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do now the rest is up to you
Until you love yourself, you'll never change
You'll keep on running
Until you deal with today